NWNWL Appoints new Commissioner for 2016 Season

Congrats to Nick Hoekendorf, new commissioner for the 2016 NWNWL season.  He campaigned on a sweeping reform platform, and promises this season to be the finest yet.  "It will be fun," said Hoekendorf.  "Darron Kuehn will not like the changes I have in store for him." 

Timberlake Tourney: Week 2 Highlights

Timberlake Turf: amazing location for Week 2 Road Tourney

Colie Chadwick proves he has ice in his veins.  

Danica shows her toughness in the sun, while her opponent frets.

Mariko's form - a juxtaposition of precision and confusion. 

Co-Commissioner Bobby Thompson showing his standard use of style and flair.

Kurt: first timer or hustling veteran?  You decide.

Even 'Moms' skills weren't enough to carry 716 Wetmore. 

'Almost Champion' Chadwick displays her fall from grace,
while jilted opponents reluctantly offer a helping hand.

NWNWL Rankings (Through Week 2)

The following rankings are through the first two weeks of league play, and are computed using the following equation:

Average score = # of cumulative points earned / # of weeks played

For example, the Commish's ranking would be figured as follows:

Week 1 points = 2

Week 2 points = 3

5 points / 2 weeks played = 2.5

At this point, everyone is eligible for the ranking system. However, beginning in week 4, we will require that to be included in the rankings, you will have to have competed in at least 2 weeks of league play. We will then adjust the league minimum games played in following weeks at the Commissioner's discretion.

JEFFSIEVERS.COM PRESENTS THE 2011 NWNWL POWER RANKINGS (through week 2)

1st - Bree Sievers (6 points)

T2nd - Darron Kuehn, Pat Cline, and Kurt Koshelnik (5 points)

T5th - Anne Fox and Dave LeWarne (4 points)

7th - Bobby Thompson (3.5 points)

T8th - Jeff Sievers, Mariko Thompson, Danica Chadwick, and Jodina Mueller (3 points)

T12th - Erin Sylvester, Colie Chadwick, and Kevin Sylvester (2.5 points)

15th - Pete Mueller (2 points)

16th - Cindy Preston (1 point)

Koshelnik & Thompson Rekindle Elementary School Magic, Take Home Week 2 Crown

TIMBERLAKE, WA - The year was 1989. New Kids on the Block had just busted onto the scene with "The Right Stuff". "Parenthood" and "Ghostbusters 2" were blockbuster motion pictures. Ken Griffey Jr. was a 19-year old rookie phenom for the M's. Danica Chadwick was still getting dressed up for Blue & Gold spirit day. It was an amazing time and place in history.

The aforementioned milestones pale in comparison to the bond that was being forged at View Ridge Elementary School. There, in an exploratory program for Everett troubled youth, a rough and tumble Kurt Koshelnik and Mariko Smith were finally finding their way. In a classroom environment where they were encouraged to "learn at their own pace", the two children were able to overcome their learning disabilities and break out of their collective shells, giving them the confidence and wherewithal to forge a path in this world. Created under the moniker of "The Gifted Program", Koshelnik and Smith were kindred spirits, coming together to read "Good Night Moon" faster than any reading partners in the short history of the 4th grade program. This team went on to build big wood block towers, juggle handkerchiefs, and stay the quietest during 4th grade nap time. A groundbreaking partnership to say the least.

While these two have overcome many obstacles to achieve many inspiring feats over the past 20 years, their paths crossed once more with magical results for week 2 of NWNWL play. Koshelnik's grittiness and gamesmanship, combined with Smith's...err, I mean Thompson's unique throwing style, helped "The Gifted" overcome an opening round defeat to run through the loser's bracket and do the unthinkable: win two games against the "Timberlake Love" pairing of Danica and Colie Chadwick for the week 2 Championship. Below are the results from the first road match in NWNWL history:

WINNER'S BRACKET

Play-In Game

Timberlake Love (Chadwick/Chadwick) def. The Gifted (Koshelnik/Thompson) 21-13

Round 1

21 (Kevin Sylvester/Jodina Mueller) def. In-Laws (Pete Mueller/Erin Sylvester) 21-20

Timberlake Love def. 716 Wetmore (Bobby Thompson/Cindy Preston) 21-9

Round 2

Timberlake Love def. "21" (score unknown)

LOSERS BRACKET

Round 1

The Gifted def. In-Laws 21-4

Round 2

The Gifted def. 716 Wetmore 21-18

Round 3

The Gifted def. "21" 21-0 (side note: first shutout in NWNWL history)

CHAMPIONSHIP

Game 1 - The Gifted def. Timberlake Love 21-20

Game 2 - The Gifted def. Timberlake Love 21-10

The writers from NWNWL apologize for the lack of details highlighting the day's action, because simply put we can't remember what happened with a heck of a lot of detail. It was 9 days ago, and we can't recall what happened yesterday. We will say the league's first road trip was a blast, and that a return trip in 2012 is already in negotiations. Big thanks to Cindy Preston ("Moms") for hosting and taking part in the tourney action, and to Michael Preston ("Coach") for introducing the NWNWL crew to a new species of insect (Nociums). Week 3 summary to come soon...

Week 2 (6/26) - Point Summary

Kurt & Mariko = 5 points

Colie & Danica = 4 points

Kevin & Jodina = 3 points

Pete & Erin = 2 points

Bobby & Cindy = 1 point

Equipment Standards for Match Play

In response to the enormous amount of criticism which has been piled upon the doorstep of the NWNWL League Offices, the League has taken rapid and aggressive action with regards to equipment standards within match play.  Following the fierce competition from week one, many athletes expressed their distaste  due to the inconsistency of the League's equipment.  Tweets were fired off, FBook status messages filled with wild rants, and the blogosphere was lit up with opinions from all sides:

"I lost because I got cold and tightened up waiting for my next match 

while they were tossing big pucks into those tiny holes." -Mariko Thompson

"I would rather do Burpees than use those blue boards.  I refuse!" - Erin Sylvester

"I don't know why they are complaining? This game is too easy." - Darron Kuehn

"This league sucks. The Commissioner reminds me 

of David Stern and Clay Bennett." - Colie Chadwick

"I need bigger holes; these blue boards are for veterans." - Jeff Sievers
"Stop crying and start tossing." -Kevin Sylvester

The league responded to these outcries by postponing Week 2 matches and taking an opportunity to mend fences with one of the league's most vocal athletes, Colie Chadwick.  Commissioner Sylvester teamed up with Chadwick to construct two more sets of green boards, with 5" holes.  This drastic  move will allow for 3 matches at once with the exact same equipment, and will erase the opportunity for complaints and excuses following poor performances.   When asked about his reasoning for such a move, Sylvester was quoted as saying: "Chadwick is one of our founding members and a critical building block of our League.  His pioneering move to construct dozens of regulation size washers proved his commitment to this sport.  He's a man of few words, but when he speaks, I will listen.  Unless he's whining about the 'top of the board' rule."

Sylvester added that the official league rules will not change as a result of this move; all 3 hole boards are still allowed in match play, so long as both teams agree prior to the start of the match.  "In addition, this new equipment will allow for the expansion of weekly tournaments.  Several new athletes are ready to join in the league at the next open opportunity."

Week 1 - Pictures

The week 1 setup at Casa de Fox/LeWarne, with Darron Kuehn (in blue) getting warmed up for the action.

The ladies putting together some pre-game strategizing. From left: Mariko Thompson, Erin Sylvester, Bree Sievers.

Jeff Sievers showing the focus that makes him both a real estate tycoon and a threat to take home a 2011 NWNWL Championship.

In his washer board debut, neighborhood newcomer Pat Cline proved to have the inner fortitude to compete at the highest level of North Everett lawn sports competition, taking 2nd in the week 1 festivities.

Not even prime-time seats to the U2 show the following evening could distract Anne Fox on this night. Her clutch 3-pointer proved to be the proverbial nail in the coffin, with her and her husband Dave knocking off Thompson/Chadwick 21-20.

NWNWL Week 1 - Inaugural tournament brings fierce competition, controversy

EVERETT - With a setting sun sprinkling the landscape, both excitement and controversy ruled the evening as the inaugural NWNWL season got underway Friday night. When the dust had settled, the doubles team of Bree Sievers and Bobby Thompson (at right) proved victorious, knocking off Darron Kuehn and Pat Cline 21-11 in the championship match at Casa de LeWarne/Fox.

After a family potluck BBQ that featured many of the world's finest culinary choices, NWNWL Commissioner Kevin Sylvester addressed the crowd of 12 with an elegance and statesmanship that has already elevated him to the upper pantheon of North Everett lawn sport commissioners. "Thanks for coming," stated Sylvester, "let's pick tonight's squads!"

Those words of wisdom were followed by the selection of the following teams and 1st round matchups:

Game #1 - Erin Sylvester/Jeff Sievers defeated Mariko Thompson/Colie Chadwick 21-9

Game #2 - Darron Kuehn/Pat Cline defeated Anne Fox/Dave LeWarne 21-17

The first round winners moved on to face the squads that received first round byes; these matchups produced the following results:

Semifinal #1 - Sievers/Thompson def. Sylvester/Sievers 21-16

Semifinal #2 - Kuehn/Cline def. Danica Chadwick/Kevin Sylvester 21-6

With the championship set, the focus moved to the consolation semifinals, where the team of Mariko/Colie squared off against Fox/LeWarne. After many huge throws by members of both teams, Colie took the board as the last thrower, holding a 20-18 lead. With his first throw, Chadwick calmly sunk a 1-pointer, hitting the 21 point threshold. But to close out victory, he needed to hit the top of the washer board with both of his remaining washers. His following throws hit the corner of the board, which led to the first Commissioner ruling in NWNWL history. Commissioner Sylvester ruled against Thompson/Chadwick, putting the score back to 20-18. In the following round, Anne Fox stepped up and drilled a 3-pointer. Thompson was unable to cancel out Fox's throw, catapulting Fox/LeWarne into the 3rd place game with a stunning 21-20 victory.

Following the game, NWNWL.blogspot.com caught up with an incensed Chadwick, who simply could not contain his frustration. "The Commish doesn't know his head from his $&^," he said. "I will be filing a complaint with the Rules Committee, because this is ridiculous." Ever the diplomat, Sylvester responded with compassion and sympathy you'd expect from the Commissioner: "Good luck with that." He added that the Rules Committee is always looking for ways to improve the game, and that they would look at rule alterations during the off-season at the Board of Directors Winter Meetings.

The other consolation game was also hotly contested, with Sylvester/Sievers knocking off Chadwick/Sylvester 21-16. This set up the following match ups and results from the Consolation bracket finals:

3rd/4th place game: Fox/LeWarne def. Sylvester/Sievers 21-18

5th/6th place game: Chadwick/Sylvester def. Thompson/Chadwick 21-16

While the Vegas line had the Championship match-up as a pick-em, Sievers and Thompson quickly put the game out reach, jumping out to a 20-0 lead en-route to a 21-11 dub over Kuehn-Cline. The night's results lead to the release of the 2011 NWNWL Points Leaders after week 1:

T1) Bree Sievers - 6 points

T1) Bobby Thompson - 6 points

T3) Darron Kuehn - 5 points

T3) Pat Cline - 5 points

T5) Anne Fox - 4 points

T5) Dave LeWarne 4 points

T7) Erin Sylvester - 3 points

T7) Jeff Sievers - 3 points

T9) Danica Chadwick - 2 points

T9) Kevin Sylvester - 2 points

T11) Mariko Thompson - 1 point

T11) Colie Chadwick - 1 point

Many thanks to Anne and Dave for hosting the week #1 festivities. We are looking for a week #2 host, so if you are so inclined, let the Commissioner know.

Week 1 results